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PDF Ebook In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior
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In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior
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Review
"In the Shadows of the Net shines a hopeful light on the dark side of cyberspace. It is certain to become a valued resource in dealing with a new frontier of addictive disorders."--Kenneth M. Adams, PhD, clinical psychologist and author, Silently Seduced"Very powerful. In the Shadows of the Net comes at a time when the need is great for understanding and exploring cybersex treatment possibilities."--Ralph H. Earle, MDiv, PhD, president, Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd., and coauthor, Lonely All the Time"A valuable road map for understanding and healing cybersex addictions."--Wendy Maltz, MSW, author, The Sexual Healing Journey and coauthor, Private Thoughts
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About the Author
Patrick J. Carnes, PhD, is an internationally known authority and speaker on addiction and recovery issues. He has authored over twenty books including the bestselling titles Out of the Shadows: Understanding Addiction Recovery, Betrayal Bond, Don't Call It Love, The Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps and The Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles. Dr. Carnes' research provides the architecture for the "task model" of treating addictions that is used by thousands of therapists worldwide and many well-known treatment centers, residential facilities, and hospitals. He founded IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals), which provides CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) training and certification as well as cutting-edge information for addiction professionals. Dr. Carnes currently serves as a Senior Fellow and Executive Director for the Gentle Path Program at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona.For more information on his work and contributions: www.patrickcarnes.com. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter: @drpatrickcarnes.
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Product details
Paperback: 264 pages
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing; 2 edition (August 10, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1592854788
ISBN-13: 978-1592854783
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
65 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#314,747 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Prior to reading any of Carnes' books, it is absolutely imperative that wives read the book "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse" by Dr. Barbara Steffens, who, UNlike Carnes, actually DID the SCIENTIFIC research proving that betrayed wives are TRAUMA victims (Complex Betrayal Trauma/C-PTSD) of this addictive system inflicted upon her at no fault of her own, and are NOT coaddicts-codependents as Carnes teaches (and nor are they Intimacy Anorexics or Reactive Intimacy Anorexics as author Doug Weiss purports). Carnes DID do scientific research on sex addicts and that is why he has a strong understanding of sex addiction. But he has ZERO understanding of traumatized, betrayed wives and thus it is imperative that all that he writes in any his books about the wife needs to be completely ignored - believing what he (himself a recovering sex addict) wrote about wives only brings even more severe harm and trauma to the already abused wife - yes, sex addiction in married men IS that of domestic violence toward both their wives and their children. Always remember that sex addiction is PRIMARILY that of a "drug" addiction - addicted to generating one's own sex neurochemistry.
If you are looking for a book about pornography that is written from a psychologist’s point of view and is devoid of religious references, a good choice is In the Shadows of the Net. One of the things I like about this book is that it discusses “problematic online sexual behavior†(p. 25) instead of using words that can side track the reader like ‘addiction’ or ‘compulsion.’ They have a very useful self-administered survey to measure one’s degree of problematic sexual behavior, which can help a person determine the degree to which their pornography use is problematic. They discuss addiction and compulsion, but enter the topic from a less diagnostic point of view. It has a great balance between wisdom, advice, practical surveys and diagnostic tools. Though it isn’t heavy on academic references, scholars wrote the book in an intelligent way. If you are looking for a good secular book that can help you identify and find your way out of pornography, or you are looking to help others do so, this is the one I recommend.
There is controversy over where the line is between erotica and pornography. The word "pornography" is derived from two Greek words meaning "prostitute" and "writing." "Erotica" is derived from the Greek word "eros," meaning romantic and sexual love. There are gray areas, but generally pornography is considered to involve behavior that is degrading to one or more of the participants, behavior that most people would not engage in unless they were paid, coerced, or forced to do so.The difference between the person who occasionally enjoys erotica and the person who is addicted to pornography is like the difference between the moderate drinker and the alcoholic. Pornography addicts find themselves unable to moderate their use to the point where jobs and marriages are lost. While some sex therapists recommend the use of erotica to revive a couple's sex life, I have already encountered two people who got so addicted to pornography that they stopped having sex with their partners. In both cases the partners were reasonably attractive and receptive.Carnes explains that pornography addicts are trying to recapture the intoxication of young love. Just as the heroin addict develops a tolerance to the drug and keeps increasing the dosage chasing the euphoria of the initial experience, the pornography addict finds an escalating need of more and more time online to reach the same high.Carnes tells how to distinguish the recreational user of online porn from the compulsive user who finds it difficult, if not impossible, to control the use of the Internet for sexual activities. He estimates that there are about 20 million people in the latter category.I imagine that pornography has been around in some form since humans learned to draw pictures. Although some people had life-ruining pornography addictions before the advent of the Internet, the problem has exploded in recent years. "As one Stanford researcher....observed, there are now people struggling with sexual compulsivity who never would have been if not for the internet, " notes Carnes in the preface to the 2001 edition of his book Out of the Shadows, and 40 per cent of these new addicts are women.Besides providing an almost infinite source of sexual pictures and videos, the Internet makes possible real time virtual sex through the use of video chat. Users sometimes progress to actually meeting the people with whom they have been interacting online.Carnes is empathetic to those struggling with pornography and sex addiction and offers theories as to why some are so vulnerable to it. Carnes is the director of Gentle Path, the treatment center where Tiger Woods was recently treated. He explains what kinds of individual and group treatment he has found helpful, and talks about options for partners of these addicts.
A good book on handling cybersex and pornography problems on the Internet. It is fair in that it acknowledges the problems in having the Internet available so much, but also acknowledges that the Internet is so important in today's society that simply swearing off of it would be a rash move.Instead the book suggests the 12-step method of changing your behavior, finding a sponsor - non-family to talk to about your problem, changing your computer habits to limit your privacy online, and working on your in-person live relationships so you don't need to find emotional fulfillment on the Internet alone.The book was written in 2000, and revised in 2007, so some parts feel a little out of date in 2015 (the appendix still lists cassette tapes to listen to). However people are still the same, same problems, and the advice still rings valid.
It’s a bit dated with statistics but it gives a pretty overall understanding of what’s happening to our loved ones.
This book is scary in how it tracks the evolution of compulsive behavior and how insidious it is. I knew I had a problem when I began reading the book, and could identify with several of the examples given. If you are honest enough to believe you have a problem with sexual addiction, you need to get this book, study this book and work with a professional counselor. It does show you that there is hope.
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Download PDF Conducting Choral Music (8th Edition)
Download PDF Conducting Choral Music (8th Edition)
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Conducting Choral Music (8th Edition)
Download PDF Conducting Choral Music (8th Edition)
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From the Back Cover
This book is based upon actual research, i.e., a survey of numerous choral conductors to identify specific problems that they currently encounter and the extent to which they felt they were prepared in undergraduate school to deal with these problems. This book provides clear, concise, and accurate information on the development of conducting skills, devoting a full chapter to each of the following topics: improving choral tone and diction, maintaining vocal health, children's voices and the boy's changing voice, understanding of diverse musical styles from various historical periods, choir rehearsal techniques, planning effective programs and concerts, and administrative matters of planning and management. For those interested in Choral Conducting, Choral Methods and Techniques, and Secondary School Choral Music.
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Product details
Paperback: 448 pages
Publisher: Pearson; 8 edition (January 15, 1998)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0137757352
ISBN-13: 978-0137757350
Product Dimensions:
5.9 x 1 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.0 out of 5 stars
2 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,198,656 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
There are some very good and practical ideas in this book. I like the way the contents is laid out.
The book covers a broad range of topics relevant to choral conducting and choral music, an excellent introduction for someone new to the topic, and mostly practical advice (especially in the rehearsal techniques section).When it gets onto the 'planning and management' sections, I'm frequently reminded that this is a book from the US (for example, discussion of Junior High School choral groups and glee clubs (which is not a concept I know anything about!), but this is a minor comment as the information is still valid for UK conducting experiences.At the end of each chapter there is a suggested bibliography for further research - very helpful if you want to explore a topic further.Now it would just be nice if this book were easily available in the UK!
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Ebook Free Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, by Lawrence Wright
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From Booklist
*Starred Review* Immersed in this book, the reader is drawn along by tantalizing revelations while simultaneously exhausted, longing for escape from its cloistered world—mirroring the accounts of many former Scientologists on the record, here. In efficient, unemotional prose, Wright begins with the biography of founder L. Ron Hubbard: his days as a prodigiously prolific writer of pulp fiction, his odd military career, the publication of his breakthrough self-help book Dianetics (1950), and the influence, riches, and controversy that have followed since he founded the Church of Scientology in 1954. For those aware of Scientology through its celebrity adherents (Tom Cruise and John Travolta are the best known) rather than its works, the sheer scope of the church’s influence and activities will prove jaw-dropping. Wright paints a picture of organizational chaos and a leader, David Miscavige, who rules by violence and intimidation; of file-gathering paranoia and vengefulness toward apostates and critics; of victories over perceived enemies, including the U.S. government, won through persuasion, ruthless litigation, and dirty tricks. Even more shocking may be the portrayal of the Sea Org, a cadre of true believers whose members sign contracts for a billion years of service, and toil in conditions of indentured servitude, punished mercilessly for inadvertent psychic offenses. Their treatment is a far cry from the coddling afforded to the much-courted celebrities. (Wright does point out that, for whatever reason, most Sea Org members remain in service voluntarily.) Page after page of damaging testimony, often from formerly high-ranking officers, is footnoted with blanket denials from the church and other parties (e.g., “The church categorically denies all charges of Miscavige’s abuse†and “Cruise, through his attorney, denies that he ever retreated from his commitment to Scientologyâ€). Readers will have to decide whether to believe the Pulitzer-winning author’s carefully sourced reporting, or the church’s rebuttals. But, quoting Paul Haggis, the Academy Award–winning film director and former Scientologist whom Wright first profiled in the New Yorker: “if only a fraction of these accusations are true, we are talking about serious, indefensible human and civil rights violations.†Going Clear offers a fascinating look behind the curtain of an organization whose ambition and influence are often at odds with its secretive ways. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: The publisher’s announced first printing of 150,000 seems right on the money. Wright will be promoting the book on a seven-city tour, but its reputation precedes him. --Keir Graff
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Review
Praise for Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, by Lawrence Wright “Powerful . . . essential reading.” —Michael Kinsley, the front page of The New York Times Book Review“Who’d have thought a history of a religion would offer so many guilty pleasures? Lawrence Wright’s enthralling account of Scientology’s rise brims with celebrity scandal. To anyone who gets a sugar rush from Hollywood gossip, the chapters on Tom Cruise and John Travolta will feel like eating a case of Ding Dongs.” —Evan Wright, The Los Angeles Times“An utterly necessary story . . . A feat of reporting. The story of Scientology is the great white whale of investigative journalism about religion.”—Paul Elie, The Wall Street Journal“Wright’s account of the church’s history and struggles is helpful, admirably fair-minded and, at times, absorbing . . . The book’s most intriguing aspect, though is not its treatment of Scientology, in particular, but its raising general questions about the nature of faith and reason and the role of religion in American life.” —Troy Jollimore, Chicago Tribune “A wild ride of a page-turner, as enthralling as a paperback thriller . . .I could go on and on, listing Hubbard’s tall tales, paranoid delusions and eccentricities, as well as Miscavige’s brutalities and tidbits from the famously wacky and decidedly unscientific Scientologist cosmology.”—Laura Miller, Salon.com“Insightful, gripping, and ultimately tragic . . . The initial biographical section [about L. Ron Hubbard] could stand as an engrossing book in itself. . . .The second section, “Hollywood,” provides the answer to one of the great mysteries of the modern world: What’s the deal with Tom Cruise and Scientology?”—Buzzy Jackson, The Boston Globe “A hotly compelling read. It’s a minutiae-packed book full of wild stories.” —Janet Maslin, The New York Times “Lawrence Wright brings a clear-eyed investigative fearlessness to Scientology—its history, theology, its hierarchy—and the result is . . . evidence that truth can be stranger even than science fiction.”—Lisa Miller, The Washington Post “A gripping, exhaustive, remarkably evenhanded investigation of the religion everyone loves to hate.”—Lawrence Levi, Newsday “It’s incredible. It is an incredible, fascinating read. It is like a pirate novel, but there are celebrities in it. I admired [Wright’s] chutzpah, he’s like Don Quixote.”—The Hairpin “Revealing and disturbing . . . A series of devastating revelations that will come as news even to hardened Scientology buffs who follow the Church’s every twist and turn.”—The Daily Beast “Devastating . . . A patient, wholly compelling investigation into a paranoid "religion" and the faithful held in its sweaty grip.”—Kirkus Reviews “Not only a titillating expose on the reported “you’re kidding me” aspects of the religion, but a powerful examination of belief itself.”—Entertainment Weekly “A fascinating look behind the curtain of an organization whose ambition and influence are often at odds with its secretive ways. . . . For those aware of Scientology through its celebrity adherents (Tom Cruise and John Travolta are the best known) rather than its works, the sheer scope of the church’s influence and activities will be jaw-dropping.” —Keir Graff, Booklist “An eye-opening short biography of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard and a long-form journalism presentation of the creature Hubbard birthed: a self-help system complete with bizarre cosmology, celebrity sex appeal, lawyers, consistent allegation of physical abuse, and expensive answers for spiritual consumers.”—Publishers Weekly
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Product details
Hardcover: 448 pages
Publisher: Knopf; First Edition edition (January 17, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0307700666
ISBN-13: 978-0307700667
Product Dimensions:
6.6 x 1.4 x 9.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.8 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
1,534 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#172,355 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Imagine if you were reading a novel that included a character who wrote sci-fi novels, was obsessed with wealth and status symbols, was paranoid about the government, treated others badly, and yet started a religion as a business venture that attracted thousands of devoted followers. You'd probably say, "yeah, right; a nice allegory for an aspect of the American psyche, but I don't think so." Although, if you were familiar with Scientology, you might not be so surprised.Many aren't familiar with Scientology, in part because the Scientologists have been relentless and devoted to stamping out dissent and negative portrayals of their religion (previous books on L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology's founder ended up with the publisher abandoning the project due to law suits and the British publisher of this book, dropped it for fear of libel law suits [which are easier to win in the UK]). New Yorker writer Lawrence Wright, who is known as one of our great investigative journalists, has prepared himself by doing an incredible amount of due diligence and fact checking (apparently the fact checkers at the New Yorker, which first published an article on Scientology by Wright, made herculean efforts to make sure they got the facts right).Scientology does not come off well in Going Clear. Wright portrays Scientology as in large part an expression of L. Ron Hubbard's whimsy: "Even as Hubbard was inventing the doctrine, each of his decisions and actions would become enshrined in Scientology lore as something to be emulated -- his cigarette smoking, for instance, which is still a feature of the church's culture at the upper levels, as are his 1950s habits of speech, his casual misogyny, his aversion to perfume and scented deodorants, and his love of cars and motorcycles and Rolex watches. More significant is the legacy of his belittling behavior toward subordinates and his paranoia about the government. Such traits stamped the religion as an extremely secretive and sometimes hostile organization that saw enemies on every corner."Wright, however, does not create a simple portrayal of Hubbard and Scientology. He grants him greater complexity than a simple con man. It seems Hubbard, who had a fertile imagination and intelligence (amazingly, he wrote 1,000 books--no small feat even if you were just the typist), believed in his own ideas. Obviously, there was something powerfully charismatic about him, but as someone who tends to gloss over at Hubbard's cosmology and "discoveries," it's hard to understand (and watching an interview of him online didn't shed any light for me on his appeal). It seemed that Hubbard was a congenital fibber--one of those people for whom reality just wasn't good enough so he had to embellish it and ultimately couldn't himself separate out his fantasies from reality. What's whacky and fascinating is that he got others to deeply believe in his ideas too. Why though? It was that part of this overall incredibly researched book that I found a bit lacking.The big picture how he did it is that Hubbard parlayed the success of Dianetics, his self-help bestseller, into a religion. In a way Scientology is a truly modern religion in that it mixes a faux-scientific veneer (it's founder after all was a sci-fi writer) with a belief system and psycho-spiritual approaches. What I wanted was a better understanding of how that self-help book>religion initial transition actually worked. Not what are Hubbard's beliefs, but how he created believers. Hubbard seemed oblivious, even allergic, to practical details. It seems his third/ish wife (his marriage to his second wife wasn't legally sanctioned) Mary Sue, was the real organizer, but I still was left scratching my head about that leap from self-help and sci-fi writer to guru. It was clear what was in it for Hubbard; he became fabulously wealthy and revered. But what was in it for the followers, especially the initial ones who didn't have legions of fellow believers to bolster Hubbard's saintly status?Going Clear, however, is not just about L. Ron Hubbard. Wright covers the violent and tight-shipped rule of David Miscaviage. Miscaviage comes off as a classic tyrant (the purges and public community confessions reminded me of Mao's China) who needs to be deposed, yet he seems to have built an impregnable fort around him. As an outsider, one is mystified as to why Scientologists would accept such abuse. But by the time Miscaviage's associates get to his inner circle they have invested years in the religion and all their friends and often family are believers. Being cast aside comes with a very heavy cost.Overall, this is a very worthwhile book. It reads well and raises interesting questions about what is a scam and what is a religion (for example, we mostly accept belief in a virgin births or parting seas as part of legitimate religions, but balk at Hubbard's visions of outer space theology). There are no easy answers, but one is left by a very uneasy feeling about Hubbard's legacy.
It's hard to find anyone without an opinion on Scientology these days; between Anonymous's war on the organization, South Park's episode about the church's beliefs, Tom Cruise's outbursts, and the constant rumors about John Travolta, it seems almost everyone is aware of at least a little bit of what Scientology is all about. But it wasn't until a couple of years ago, when famed writer-director Paul Haggis publicly broke with the church and spoke about it in a New Yorker piece called "The Apostate," that a celebrity was willing to go on the record about their feelings toward the church. Now, that piece has been expanded into a full-length work of investigative journalism, and the result is an astonishing, gripping, unbelievable read about not just Scientology, but its origins, its secrets, its abuses, and its future. Author Lawrence Wright does an exceptional job keeping his writing balanced, especially as it pertains to L. Ron Hubbard, author of Dianetics and founder of the church. It's clear that there's much about Hubbard that Wright admires - his constant literary output, his ability to inspire people - and yet, Wright never lets Hubbard's shortcomings slide, as he constantly reminds the reader about Hubbard's habitual lies, his constant infidelities, and his apparent hypocrisy regarding what Scientology would allow people to do. The result is a gripping portrait of the man and the birth of the church, done with careful balance that examines both the appeal of the church and its deep flaws. From there, Wright moves on to David Miscavige, the current leader of the church, and focuses on how the church has changed to something far darker, abusive, and more dangerous under Miscavige's control. It's this half of the book that often had me reading with my jaw hanging open, often unable to believe the things I was reading. And yet, it's clear that Wright has done his research; with more than a third of the book dedicated to footnotes and research notes, and the constant reminder that the church often refused to cooperate with his questions, it's hard to doubt the things you're reading, especially as they come up again and again and again. Wright has set himself no small task to accomplish - no less than documenting the history of Scientology, its appeal to celebrities, its shift over time, and a portrait of the two men most responsible for leading the church throughout its history. And yet, Wright does it with skill and aplomb, crafting a gripping narrative and handling his numerous and disparate threads with grace and control, creating one of the most fascinating investigative reporting pieces I've ever read. It both leaves you understanding why Scientology is so appealing to people, and yet never leaves you doubting why the organization is so violently opposed in so many corners; it helps you understand why so many people doubt Hubbard, and yet still see how he could lead people; and it will help you begin to realize just how incredibly structured and controlled the ideas are, whether because of belief or because of control. This is incredible reading; if you have the slightest interest in Scientology, cults, and/or religions, Going Clear will keep you riveted.
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Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, by Lawrence Wright PDF
Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, by Lawrence Wright PDF
Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, by Lawrence Wright PDF
Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, by Lawrence Wright PDF